Happily Even After

My husband married me because of my shortcomings, not despite them.  There’s my penchant for sudden change; spontaneous upsets with scissors and hair dye; a love/hate relationship with the written word that has been festering more than half my lifetime; my crooked teeth; and when I’m really, really tired, a ravaging hysteria of laughter so intense I get stomach cramps.  Still, we’re weirdos in love.

I’ve spent an entire lifetime discovering how strange the people of the world think I am and how, secretly, many of them delight in the off-beat. 

It’s nothing to me.  I mean, when you’re a kid and do and say kid things and your sister’s mantra is, “You’re weird,” well, what can you say?  I’m creatively driven.

My big brother, the one who’s been riding Harleys my entire life and is tattooed up and down, has scoffed at my hair and clothes more times than I can count.  “You’ve always been the black sheep,” says he.

I smile. Family.

I was insecure, oh, so insecure.  “You’re weird”, the other kids always said.  But they hung around.

Later on, in high school, when they loaded up the insult cannon with the word “Freak” it bounded right back at them, splattering a little pride across their Esprit.  Freak was a compliment, an homage to beloved Ralph Waldo Emerson who gave us permission not only to love, but to be art. 

“Be yourself; no base imitator of another,but your best self.  There is something which you can do better than another.  Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that.  Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.
To be great, is to be misunderstood.”
–Emerson, Self-Reliance
And it was art, and music, and poetry that drove me into myself.  It was writing that saved the soft bits, that firmed up the wants and dreams, that gave me permission to disregard expectation and head on out and be misunderstood.
Thanks, Ralph, I owe you one.
Advertisements

About E. Victoria Flynn

E. Victoria Flynn is a mother and a writer living in Southern Wisconsin. Published in a variety of venues, Victoria is currently writing the first in a series of three fantasy novels based on Cornish folklore. When not taking part in a shrieking dance party or engrossed in her own little fictions, Victoria is keen on art, the natural world and people unafraid to explore their own brilliance.
This entry was posted in Freaks, Self-Reliance, Weird and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Happily Even After

  1. "And it was art, and music, and poetry that drove me into myself. It was writing that saved the soft bits, that firmed up the wants and dreams, that gave me permission to disregard expectation and head on out and be misunderstood."Wow, is that ever wonderful. Thank you so much for this post. It tugged at something deep inside me.

  2. What a great essay, Victoria! I love this –"Later on, in high school, when they loaded up the insult cannon with the word "Freak" it bounded right back at them, splattering a little pride across their Esprit."Perfect.

  3. Oh, Victoria, this is fabulous. I love that your husband married you because of your shortcomings. I wonder what my husband would say :)xox

  4. evf says:

    Thank you each for reading and even more for your thoughts. I can not tell you how much I appreciate knowing something I wrote actually made a connection. Of course, you're three amazing writers, you know it feels good. 🙂 Oh, and you're all WI girls!

  5. Victoria,ditto the above–loved the quote already requoted about the willingness to write and "head on out and be misunderstood" and of course, the line "weirdos in love"…a loving and honest post.and enjoyed seeing that it is possible to write about one's spouse…not so much about, but "with"…I'm finding my way writing about mine as well, because how can he not be so much a part of the periphery as well as core of what we survive in shared spouse and parenthood. takes some good forethought and respect.

  6. evf says:

    Thank you, Tania. I told my husband I wrote about him, then changed my mind and said, "Well, I wrote about you in relation to me." And that just takes me back to feeling a little selfish, like, I love you because of how you love me. I don't know what the better thing to say is, but it seems to come down to the golden rule in the end.

  7. catherine says:

    what a good husband!! i hope there are more out there like that 🙂

  8. evf says:

    Catherine,They're out there, you just may need to look under a few rocks to find them. At least, the ones I know tend to hang out in cool, dark places. 🙂

  9. Tone says:

    Awesome! I needed this inspiration.

  10. evf says:

    Thanks,T. Now pass the inspiration this way?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s