Throw me Thursday: Moving

Image by dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Today is my 6 year Homeiversary. I’m sitting on a toilet seat with a head full of Garnier Black Tea dye waiting for it take. I wonder how much of this stuff has already seeped too far into my follicles and done irreparable harm. With the exception of a six month lapse of reason, I’ve been fake for more than half my lifetime.

I like being dark. I look unrelated to myself.

If you want to know something I believe, I believe this: only when we are very first born are we completely ourselves. After that we become a compilation of everyone and everything surrounding us. Ourselves are then a conglomerate of experience.

We are unique in the way a stone is unique.

Think of it this way–you are a flake of mud tripping down a hill gathering dust, pollen, dew and all the while you are changing, growing, experiencing. This is the self we understand within ourselves.

I believe artists try to etch away at the dust and dew, to uncover the first flake in an attempt to make an honest connection. Writing is the same.

I believe everyone is trying to find connection.

I don’t believe in a Church. I’ve tried, but it’s of no consequence. I don’t believe in a guru or a Way or a one book.

I believe in connection. I believe in the way we need people, that in talking with someone honestly we are the closest to God. I believe that if I tell you this you will understand.

My family of origin does not talk. We do not see or understand eachother, we do not have a connection. I find it easy to move from them as I’ve seen them move from eachother throughout my lifetime. Blood and bone does not make real in understanding.

Willingness does.

When I sit here and I write down whatever odd thoughts come to me, when I tell you how ridiculous I am to sit in my tiny bathroom on a toilet seat and dye my hair, I’m laughing at myself, but I’m also inviting you to know me in any simple way that works.

This is something I overheard at a coffee shop: Remember, it’s people that matter.

And to you, what really matters? What do you believe?

Today’s Throw me Thursday suggestion comes from Fred Osuna (Spitball Army) who said, “@EVictoriaF Moving: either by choice or by force of nature.” Do yourself a great favor and follow Fred.

UPDATED: The movie Little Miss Sunshine is glorious.


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About E. Victoria Flynn

E. Victoria Flynn is a mother and a writer living in Southern Wisconsin. Published in a variety of venues, Victoria is currently writing the first in a series of three fantasy novels based on Cornish folklore. When not taking part in a shrieking dance party or engrossed in her own little fictions, Victoria is keen on art, the natural world and people unafraid to explore their own brilliance.
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10 Responses to Throw me Thursday: Moving

  1. Eglentyne says:

    Beautiful, Victoria. I believe in connection too. The way people can MOVE together, and move TOGETHER. Lovely. xo

  2. The Girl says:

    “Blood and bone does not make real in understanding.”

    AND DeVotchKa. Loverly.

  3. Like you, I believe in connections, in soul sisters as much as in family. I grew up in Church, but the Spirituality I find these days stretches even further than those four walls. And, I believe you have quite a way with words: I believe artists try to etch away at the dust and dew, to uncover the first flake in an attempt to make an honest connection. Writing is the same.

    I just love your posts.

  4. Beth Lowe says:

    Man, Victoria, do you and your words matter. So very much.

  5. kario says:

    I believe it’s all about connection, too. Some people find that in church and others find it in family and still others find it with nature or art or sports. What is important is the honest search for the things that connect and unite us together in our attempt to become better as individuals and collectively.

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