Throw Me Thursday: Conner says…

healingdream

Sunday is always better for dates, Conner says. All the Saturday people stay home and the lines at the mini golf park are short and the ice cream barrels are all filled up because they run out of Zanzibar by the end of the week.

You can get two-for-one carousel rides on Sunday, Conner says. And since he knows the carousel jockey you can probably stay on all day if you want. You can probably eat ice cream while your going around and up and down if you want to, Conner says.

Last Sunday was family day down at the speedway and Conner took a red head and her little brother. The kid kept shooting spit wads through a soda straw and hit some big guy on the back of his neck. The guy didn’t notice and the wad was still stuck to his big, old neck when they left. Maybe it’s still there, Conner says.

Conner says, the way to get girls to date you is to have a reputation for being romantic. Girls think guys who bring flowers are romantic, so a guy should always bring a huge bouquet of flowers when he’s going out on a date.

But you can never buy a girl flowers, Conner says. You just can’t spend that kind of money on a date. You have to be thrifty; you have to raid a cemetery, and that’s why Sunday is always better for dates, Conner says.

***

I just couldn’t get this notion out of my head after reading Lynne’s, “Beautiful cheap flowers” suggestion. I love beautiful cheap flowers, but not enough to raid a cemetery, no, certainly not that. I’m still of the mind that I should never laugh as a hearse goes by, or that I should hold my breath out of respect for the dead as I pass a graveyard. (That notion doesn’t hold up well if you’re ever actually visiting a graveyard and that in itself makes me rather nervous)

Thanks also to Dani Smith (Something Knitty) for the video. I’ve been desperately trying to figure out why I’ve been so serious. Guess I should just freak out…

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About E. Victoria Flynn

E. Victoria Flynn is a mother and a writer living in Southern Wisconsin. Published in a variety of venues, Victoria is currently writing the first in a series of three fantasy novels based on Cornish folklore. When not taking part in a shrieking dance party or engrossed in her own little fictions, Victoria is keen on art, the natural world and people unafraid to explore their own brilliance.
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11 Responses to Throw Me Thursday: Conner says…

  1. siggiofmaine says:

    Well, I am of the mind to never steal flowers from a grave yard…but there are often flowers along the road or sidewalks to take…I would advise that the men use the handy dandy pocket knife to cut the flowers and not pull them out by the roots…gardeners go into a frenzy when that happens ….that I know from being married at one time to a gardener, but the idea of the flowers came from a friend who raided the gardens on the walk to church for the altar. I’m sure most gardeners would love to share flowers for a young man to give to a young lady.
    .
    The only thing I ever heard about being in a cemetery is to not walk on the graves…at least not intentionally and be respectful. And I like your comment about being respectful when a hearse goes by.

    • pennyjars says:

      I’m terrified of taking flowers from anywhere–public parks you get arrested, peoples’ gardens you get a good chewing out, cemeteries have to have some juju behind them. Along the road, I love the blue chicory, the queen anne’s lace, the pink mallow taking over.

  2. kario says:

    Connor sounds like a clever guy.

    I could use some ice cream and a carousel ride…

  3. Lisa says:

    As usual, your tone is fresh and the story is full of potential while simultaneously feeling complete. How do you do it, Victoria??

    We had a hired hand when I was growing up who gave my mom plastic, faded flowers that were obviously from a local cemetery. Very creepy. Needless to stay, he didn’t last long.

  4. Eglentyne says:

    Oh, I would ride the carousel with Conner. I might even share a caramel apple with him. I just wonder who he’s sharing his gems of wisdom with? Makes me want to lean in to see if I can catch a bit more of the tale. xo Dani

    • pennyjars says:

      My guess is that Conner is passing his wisdom on to a younger brother, maybe a less experienced friend or a kid that came in to the convenience store where he works on any day but Sunday. He’s had a lot of time to figure this stuff out, hasn’t he?

  5. I love this piece and the video — stories and music complement each other so well.

    On flowers, when I worked at a bakery years ago, a young man stopped by a few times with flowers for me. He didn’t get them from a cemetery but pulled them from the dumpster behind a flower shop, telling me just so. I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or offended. But then, he was cute. So, you know….

    • pennyjars says:

      Dumpster diving is a fine art and those who partake are quite earnest in their findings. I’m sure Lisa’s handyman was as well, but he freaked me out. Your boy diver sounds like he had a lot of heart. Cute heart, perhaps?

  6. Jillian says:

    This video makes me so happy every time I watch it.

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